“She Can Focus on What She Wants To” — Understanding ADHD Myths

This might sound familiar:

“She can sit and build LEGO for an hour, but can’t get through five math problems.”

Or: “He’s completely focused on his video game, but can’t read one chapter of a book.”

To many adults, this feels like proof that a child can focus when they want to. But it’s not about willpower — it’s about brain wiring.

ADHD is not a deficit of attention. It’s a dysregulation of attention. Kids with ADHD can hyperfocus on high-interest or high-stimulation tasks (like video games or imaginative play) because their brain gets the dopamine it’s looking for. But when a task is low-interest, routine, or complex, their brain has a much harder time initiating and sustaining attention.

This myth is damaging — not just because it’s inaccurate, but because it leads to blame. Parents get frustrated. Kids get labeled as lazy. Everyone burns out.

At JAM, we help families reframe the conversation. Instead of asking, Why won’t my child do this? we ask, What support does their brain need to access this task?

Try this:

• Use countdowns and visuals to ease transitions
• Pair less preferred tasks with movement or short incentives
• Break assignments into 5–10 minute chunks with check-ins
• Use “when/then” language (“When you finish this section, then you can take a break”)

This is not about letting your child off the hook — it’s about building a bridge between their brain and the task. Reach out to JAM to reset expectations and empower your child with strategies that match their brain. Book a consultation and start seeing real progress today.