Understanding Behavior as Communication

When a child is melting down, shutting down, or acting out, the behavior is usually just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath it? A feeling, a need, a lagging skill, or an unmet expectation.

At JAM, we guide families and educators to pause and reframe: What is this behavior trying to tell us? Instead of labeling a child as disrespectful or defiant, we look deeper. Is this task too challenging? Is the environment overstimulating? Has the child had too many demands without a break? Behavior is information. And when we treat it that way, we stop reacting and start responding.

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Common behavior signals we see:

• Avoidance may mean the child lacks confidence or clarity.
• Defiance can be a sign that one needs more autonomy or control.
• Silliness often appears when a child is overwhelmed or unsure about how to engage.

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This doesn’t mean we ignore the behavior — it means we intervene with more precision. We teach replacement skills, model emotional regulation, and help kids feel safe enough to try again. And we support the adults too. Because when we help parents and educators recognize what’s underneath a behavior, they respond more intentionally, and kids begin to feel understood — not punished. That shift opens the door to real change: more trust, fewer power struggles, and a stronger sense of control on both sides.

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If you’re stuck in a cycle of reacting to your child’s behavior, we can help you understand what’s going on. JAM offers coaching that enables you to decode behaviors and build skills that last.

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